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Nesting: When home sweet home stays the same for kids of divorce

Like most Texas parents, you want what's best for your children. If your kids are well past their toddler stages, you probably have already noticed how unique each one is, as well as the fact that what choices you make to help one of them reach his or her full potential may not be the same for another. This is because no two situations (and no two children) are exactly the same; so, there's no one-size-fits-all solution to every problem.

When you told your children you were getting divorced, it no doubt had a strong emotional impact on them. Hopefully, you let them know right away that your marital decline was not their fault and that you loved them and wanted to help them adapt to their new lifestyle as best you can. Most child psychologists and other family advocates say children are highly adaptable and typically fare well in major life changes, like divorce, if they continue to have close relationships with both parents.

Nesting after divorce might help

There's a fairly new trend among post divorce families that often helps children move forward in life with less emotional trauma when they're learning to adapt to the reality of no longer having both parents under one roof. Moving to a new house, a new town, and entering a new school are some of the things that cause children stress in divorce. Nesting is a way the helps many families minimize children's anxiety when parents are no longer married. The following are some basics of how it works:

  • Nesting in divorce means your children continue to live in the house you all shared when you were married.
  • Parents themselves are typically the ones who come up with the idea, perhaps after hearing success stories from friends or other family members who have gone through similar experiences.
  • When parents are on board with a nesting plan, they must present their proposed agreement to the court for approval.
  • Children stay in their own home after divorce, and each parent comes and goes for extended lengths of time, taking turns living with the children.
  • Each parent also secures other living arrangements for the times he or she is not residing with the children.
  • Nesting helps children maintain stability, routine and structure in their lives to avoid turmoil that often exists when kids have to go from house to house to adhere to custody agreements.

If you're able to communicate amicably with your former spouse, nesting might be a viable option. Since both parents would likely still be financially responsible for the upkeep and maintenance of the home, nesting works best in situations where parents get along well enough to discuss important matters in a peaceful manner. It's a way to keep your children's best interests at heart even though it may pose several inconveniences in your own life.

If you're unsure whether this situation is financially, emotionally and legally feasible in your particular circumstances, you can follow the steps of many other divorced parents in Texas and reach out for support by discussing the matter with an experienced family law advocate. Most attorneys are also skilled negotiators who can assist parents in developing shared custody agreements and also be on hand to help overcome any legal obstacles that arise.

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